Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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