I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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