But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Boobs are out for the taking
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
