Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dicks are not precious.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
