Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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