I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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