he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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