i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
