I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Can i not drive my cunt home
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
