I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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