weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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