i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
