I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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