I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
