her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
