Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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