break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
