why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
