I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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