i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
