awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
