a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
