no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
