Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
