Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
