my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
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