3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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