Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
