My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
we made out on top of his cat.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
