He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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