normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He shit in the fireplace
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
