Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
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