i would punch a child for taco bell
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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