Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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