How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
