My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
