Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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