I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
