I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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