Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
