which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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