so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
