my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
