Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
