That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
