It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
