Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
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