Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
