He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You're completely useless in the revolution.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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