Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He kissed a someone with a penis
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
