The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
